The Wacky Races of Yoshzilla Rhedosaurus
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Toadette and Aria Meloetta, Dry Bowser and Petey Piranha, Silver The Hedgehog and Chrom, R.O.B. and E-123 Omega, Amy Rose and Tiny Kong, Arceus and Rayquaza, Lady Palutena and Isabelle, and the infamous cheating pair of Dick Dastardly and Muttley all compete against each other to see who's the wackiest racing pair of them all!
1. The Wacky Races of Yoshzilla Rhedosaurus

"...And here are the eight pairs of racers - Toadette and Aria Meloetta, Dry Bowser and Petey Piranha, Silver The Hedgehog and Chrom, R.O.B. and E-123 Omega, Amy Rose and Tiny Kong, Arceus and Rayquaza, Lady Palutena and Isabelle, and wrapping up the crew are the infamous duo, Dick Dastardly and Muttley!" Master Hand proclaimed as the racers all gathered on the spot. "Their prize... to be the wackiest racer, of course!"

"I'm going to win, it's quite so obvious, indeed." Dick Dastardly stated egotistically as he laughed, his hands on his hips as he had absolute confidence in himself to cheat, with Muttley chuckling.

"I LOVE YOU DICK, DASTARDLY!" Waluigi chanted from the audience as he was wearing an outfit Dastardly used on his own show regarding a certain annoying pigeon.

Godzilla stomped by the starting line, lifting his fingers to five the signal as he then bellowed loudly, before blasting his radioactive, fire like breath into the air, signalling for all the racers to zip away, through a warp leading to a race course somewhere else. The group of eight pairs of racers were all in the middle of some grassy meadows, with the racers all trying to beat each other.

Toadette and Aria Meloetta were the small girl pair, Dry Bowser and Petey Piranha were the Mario bosses pair, Silver The Hedgehog and Chrom were the under appreciated pair, R.O.B. and E-123 Omega were the robots pair, Amy Rose and Tiny Kong were the grown girls pair, Arceus and Rayquaza were the godly Pokemon pair, Lady Palutena and Isabelle were the authority girls pair, and finally came the infamous wicked pair themselves, Dick Dastardly and Muttley, who were determined to cheat regardless of the possibilities. All of them raced down the plain road as the various characters unleashed items and cheap tactics on each other, with Dick Dastardly trying his damn best to be the cheapest one of them all.

"Drat, drat, and double drat!" Dick Dastardly cursed as Muttley chuckled. "My devious cheating isn't working! Time for dastardly drastic measures!"

Tiny Kong farted loudly as she laughed, fanning the gas from her burping big butt. "My name might be tiny, but my body sure isn't!"

"Let me smash 'em with my Piko Piko Hammer!" Amy Rose taunted as she spun her red and yellow hammer around, smirking with confidence.

"Tahaya!" Toadette exclaimed with glee as she spun around. "Let's shroom it up!"

"Ooh, can I sing?" Aria Meloetta sung in a high pitched voice while rubbing her paddle shaped hands together. "I even brought some icing!"

"Oh Korttork," Dry Bowser groaned as he dusted off his dusty bones. "This isn't going as I hoped."

"Loopy tea! Leave this to me!" Petey Piranha exclaimed as he began dancing to the beat.

"Oh, it's no use." Silver The Hedgehog sighed as he shook his head. "We're not going to prevail."

"Don't think like that, mah boi." Chrom remarked while eating his chrome enhancing fish sticks. "It's our time to tip the scales!"

R.O.B. shook his metal head. "I calculate that this race is not going to be in our robotic favor."

"I will eliminate these worthless racing models!" E-123 Omega boasted as he began firing off his arm cannons everywhere.

Arceus chuckled as he closed his eyes. "I could twist the outcome of this race with my godly might if I choose to. But where's the fun in that?"

"Let's go up and down and all around!" Rayquaza exclaimed as he fired off a random Hyper Beam. "I want to roll around at the speed of sound!"

"Watch out for my stylish grace." Lady Palutena stated with a smirk. "It's cute AND dangerous, and comes with a funny face!"

"M-my!" Isabelle exclaimed as she placed her adorable paws on her face. "Isn't that a bit hefty for a race?"

And all to expect, from the craziest set of races under... the sun? Yeah, the sun.


	2. Seaside Hill Madness

Seaside Hill... one of the most popular tracks for a race, as our racers go up up, down down, left, right, left, right, B, A, and start through the tropical beach. As usual, ol' Dick is up to his cheating schemes as he's way ahead, planting various coconut bombs in the sand. Just what is that evil, conniving Dick Dastardly up to?

"Wa ha ha! When the racers come by, they will be blasted high into the air!" Dick Dastardly stated as he and Muttley jumped behind some rocks, to see several racers coming by, the Bulk and Skull theme from Power Rangers playing. "And then we'll win this race, without being fair!"

Muttley chuckled as they watched one of the three girl pairs, Amy Rose and Tiny Kong, approach the coconut bombs, with Amy being interested.

"Hey! Coconuts!" Amy stated as she grabbed one of them, prepared to open them up when it exploded, causing her and Tiny to be sent high into the sky. "D'oh! I should have seen that one coming!"

"Well this stinks!' Tiny stated as she spun her yellow pigtails around, grabbing Amy as she let out a huge fart. "And it's just not my gas!"

Muttley chuckled as Dick Dastardly slammed him on the head, making the dog growl as they watched various other racing pairs zip by, being blasted into the sky as the two laughed, giving each other a high five as they got into their car.

"Ugh... that dick think he can get away thick, huh?' Dry Bowser remarked as he took off his skull, spinning it around as he then chucked it at the Mean Machine, causing it to explode as Dry Bowser's car came slamming down, with the boney reptile grabbing his skull as he promptly glared at the wrecks, with Petey Piranha accidentally racing down the hill and into the water.

"Oops! I must have been listening to this background music too much!" Petey stated as he tried to lift the car, but began sinking with the car.

"Drat, and double drat!" Dick Dastardly growled as he tried to get his Mean Machine back up. "I was so close to my devious scheme working, too!"

"Rayquaza, prepare to fire!" Arceus stated as he switched positions with the green dragon Pokemon.

"Finally!" Exclaimed Rayquaza as he blasted a Dragon Pulse at the racers behind them, causing them to spiral as the two went through several loops, before being blasted into the sky by a spiny winged blue shell.

"Never underestimate Chrom and his chrome skills!' Chrom boasted as he kept stuffing fish sticks in his mouth.

"Chrom, you don't have to keep boasting about metal!" Silver stated as he noticed various seagulls were trying to get close to the pair. "Oy! Get away, you rats with wings!" The seagulls blinded the hedgehog, causing him and Chrom to crash into various stores as their vehicle received massive damage.

"Urge to blast, rising." Omega stated as he blasted the various sand dunes nearby, as well as the tropical palm trees in the way of the sandy path, with R.O.B. zipping around the burnt trees.

"You should consider taking a break from your psychotic tendencies," R.O.B. suggested as he turned his head to Omega.

"Damn it, we're never gonna get ahead at this rate," Palutena stated as she folded her arms. "I think it's time we got wacky..."

"I don't think that's-" Isabelle couldn't finish as Lady Palutena stripped off her clothes and began to do a striptease, distracting the racers as they crashed into each other, with Isabelle blushing as she couldn't believe how brash Palutena was being.

The two girl pairs were shooting at each other, with Tiny Kong farting out empty cans from her butt at Meloetta, who smashed them back by swinging her half eaten carton of vanilla icing. Amy handed Tiny a full can of beans as Tiny ripped open the can and gobbled the beans, her stomach rumbling as Amy got close to the other two girls, Tiny Kong farting a smelly gas blast on the two smaller girls as they groaned.

"Ugh, gross!" Toadette remarked as she shot a poison mushroom at the two bigger girls, causing them to shrink as she and Meloetta went crashing into a set of tropical palm trees nearby.

The racers kept on zipping as Dick Dastardly continued to try and cheat to victory, with some of the Seaside Hill store owners watching as they caused quite a mess in the area.

"Oy! Look at all these racers, making a mess of Seaside Hill!" Cheepskipper complained as he and Lakithunder were by the Seaside Hill Train Station. "They're going to ruin our businesses if they kept acting this reckless!"

"You seem SHOCKED that they would be this wacky!" Lakithunder laughed as he moved his hands around. "Take it easy, bro, it's almost done! Why, with a quick ZAP, it'll be like they never raced!"

Omega then blasted Lakithunder with some missiles, being sick of the electric puns as Cheepskipper laughed, with Lakithunder groaning in pain as Chuffy the old train from Banjo-Tooie rolled in just in time, with some eager visitors wanting to see the race up close.


	3. Casino Parked

Casino Park... is there nothing more pleasant than this theme park regarding jewels?

Apparently not, because the wacky racers were tearing it apart, with Omega in particular firing away as much ammo as possible, being a destruction obessed robot.

"I will eliminate these worthless racing models!" E-123 Omega boasted as he began firing off his arm cannons everywhere.

R.O.B. shook his metal head. "I calculate that this race is not going to be in our robotic favor. Especially with how much you're blasting away."

Omega ignored R.O.B.'s advice, only for the two robots to be pushed off the red carpet by Dick Dastardly and Muttley, who were blasting by inside their Mean machine.

"Come on, Muttley, give me that magnet!" Dick Dastardly stated as he used it to pull in various rings, coins, and other cash. "With all this money in our hands, we'll be able to blind the others! Nyehehe!"

"Oy vey! I can't see a thing!" Amy exclaimed as she squinted, trying to drive as the money distracted her, causing her and Tiny Kong to go spinning around. "Ugh! Tiny, switch!"

"All right, if you say so!" Tiny Kong stated after trying to use her big farts to stop the money, switching positions with the pink girl hedgehog, who then began smacking the money with her Piko Piko Hammer.

"Tahaya!" Toadette exclaimed with glee as she spun around in the air, taking out some mushrooms as she smiled. "Let's shroom this bitch it up!"

"Toadette, wait!" Aria Meloetta stated as she held her right paddle shaped hand in the air. "I feel a disturbance in the force!"

Meloetta's stomach growled loudly, with the melody Pokemon blushing as Toadette squinted her eyes.

"...and that's me being hungry. Teehee." Meloetta admitted in an embarrassed tone as she nodded her head, giving Toadette permission to spam mushrooms as they went speeding... only to crash through the railings and fall all the way down, much to their dismay, with Meloetta using her psychic to carry them back up, obviously being extremely painful for her due to lack of strength from hunger.

"Oh Korttork," Dry Bowser groaned as he swerved around the various booby traps placed on the course. "This is more tedious than I had hoped."

"Loopy tea! Leave this to me!" Petey Piranha exclaimed as he opened his mouth wide, sucking up all of the objects nearby.

The other racers had no words of encouragement or any words in general to exclaim, as they were too focused on the race. Silver The Hedgehog used his psychic to hold back the missiles that Dick Dastardly was firing back, while Chrom was slashing against the car containing Arceus and Rayquaza.

Arceus grabbed a red plate and became fire type, using Eruption on Chrom, which burnt him severely in pain. Rayquaza then fired off a Dragon Pulse at the two girls approaching, with Lady Palutena farting against it as a defense mechanism, Isabelle chucking fruit everywhere as a way to make everyone feel better.  
Things certainly weren't gonna be better for the racers.


	4. Volcanic Grumble Volcano Grumbles

"Drat!" Dick Dastardly exclaimed as he saw the other gaining on him. "Those stupid guys are getting too dastardly close for my liking!"

Muttley chuckled as he chucked several bombs behind, causing the road to explode as the other pairs of racers went high into the sky, with all of them racing at the Grumble Volcano as they landed on the molten hardened road.

"Oof!" Dry Bowser stated as he broke into several pieces, with Petey Piranha taking over. "Korttork, that hurt."

"No need to fear, mah boi!" Petey Piranha stated as he then summoned vines to grab Toadette and Aria Meloetta, pulling them back and ramming into their vehicle. "Petey is here!"

"I believe every word that man just said." Meloetta admitted as she sucked up an entire carton of vanilla icing, then chucking it at Petey, causing him to spin out of control and fall into the red molten mama. "...Because it's exactly what I wanted to hear."

"Ooh, really?" Toadette remarked as she turned her head to Meloetta, only to be gassed by a flatulent Tiny Kong. "Oh, eww!"

Tiny Kong laughed as she slapped her farting big butt, pooting more deep pitched toots. "Ha, you like it, girls? My name might be-"

"All right, we get it!" Amy Rose growled as she was sweating from the intense heat of the volcano. "You don't have to go into more details about your sex life!"

"Aren't we the adventurous one?" Dick Dastardly remarked as he attempted to drill into the girls' car, but Amy dashed onto the Mean Machine and slammed her Piko Piko Hammer down on Dastardly, flattening the dick with relative ease as she jumped back to her own car. "Drat, drat, and double drat!"

Muttley chuckled as Dick Dastardly slammed his right fist down on the dog, making him growl angrily as the group exited the main Grumble Volcano itself, trying to avoid the lava sprouts and fireballs bouncing about, the green warp pipes and dead purple trees exploding from all the explosives being chucked around.

"Chill, guys, I got this!" Rayquaza stated as he bellowed loudly, summoning a thunderstorm as he used rain dance, with it getting much cooler as the rain began pouring down, thunder booming.

"All you needed to do was drive while I used hail," Arceus suggested as they swerved around the race course.

"Yeah, but being a flying dragon, I hate ice." Rayquaza pointed out as he sipped some tea.

"...Good point." Arceus responded as he nodded his head, understanding where Rayquaza was coming from as the two were making a steady come back, having formerly been in last place.

"Man, we barely got anything to say!" Chrom complained as he munched away on his chrome enhancing fish sticks.

"Just focus on throwing off the others!" Silver exclaimed, using his psychic to move the lava rocks away from him and Chrom.

"Maybe we should use some of the fruit I gathered from my village!" Isabelle exclaimed as she glanced back to see her tail on fire, yelping in pain as she tried to get it off.

"Don't worry, I know what to do!" Lady Palutena exclaimed as she spun her staff around, causing Isabelle to be lit ablaze.

"Should we help them?" R.O.B. suggested to E-123 Omega as the robots drove around the lava spouts emerging from the molten ground.

"Here's the help they'll need," Omega responded by blasting Palutena and Isabelle with missiles, which caused a huge fiery explosion that engulfed all of the racers, burning them to a crisp.


	5. I Got Lazy

"Come on... there must be something good here." Dry Bowser remarked with an annoyed grunt.

Petey Piranha chuckled. "What would possibly help us? There's nothing here!" He boasted loudly.

"Drat, drat, and double drat!" Dick Dastardly cursed as he placed his hands on his face while steering his vehicle with his feet, with Muttley just laughing it up. "this is all terrible! Dastardly drastic, even for me!"

"What's wrong?" Dick Dastardly's mind spoke up to the cheating bastard. "Something clearly must be up and about if you're complaining now."

"...we're in an unstable time loop." Dastardly pointed out as the entire race repeated itself as if nothing happened.

And this would go on and on, forever endlessly in an unstable loop of time and space.


End file.
